| I'm not dead. Haha. |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|01:25 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Here. | ] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | None. | ] |
Well hello live journal world. It's been so long since I have been on here. Probably a year. Just out of curiousity I went to this site tonight. It took my awhile to remember my username and password, but eh! Fele's back. I doubt any of my old friends from here still use this, since myspace is the thing now. But if you do let me know. If you do and you have myspace, ask me for the link and I'll add ya. :] So things in my life are shitty right now but they are looking up. Turns out that guy "Justin" is an asshole. We broke up 3 weeks ago, and his new girl is 3 months prego with his kid. What are the odds. I graduated. I am taking a year off before I go to college, just so I know for sure my shit is together before I leave. And that's my life these days. |
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| If I was beautiful like you... |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|12:57 am] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Beautiful - Garbage | ] |
Yeah, it has been awhile. So a lot of things have
changed. Taylor and I broke up. Long story. I am now dating this guy
named Justin and things are good so far. I hate that I'm updating when
I am actually in a bad mood, because things have been really great
lately. Today just sucks, and I don't know why. But yeah, I'm alive.
Leave some comments. :)
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|06:17 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | FOB - Calm Before the Storm | ] |
Hmm. Today was alright, I guess. Let me tell you about yesterday. First of all, I had to go the bathroom in Study Hall. My teacher was like "You ask to go everyday.." And I was like "Well, this is study hall. it's the best time to go." And she said "You don't need to go everyday..." And I asked her "Can I go or not?" She says, "What did I just say?" So I said "Fine, I'll go without a pass." Then fucking the principal found me and made me sit in the office for leaving without a pass. Then my Econ teacher came up to me and asked if I'd seen these two girls, Ashley and Christen..I told him that the last time I had seen them was in his period when he had let me go to the bathroom and they were walking up the lobby hall. So yeah, turns out they skipped class and being I had signed out of his class he had the time and place. So Ashley came up to me and she was like "Thanks a fucking lot, Felecia." You're welcome. :) All day yesterday and today I heard.."Good job, narc." First off, I didn't know what my Econ teacher wanted. I had no intention of getting them in trouble, but what the fuck ever. Today, I heard pretty much the same thing. Whatever. They need to grow up, for real. After I left school at 11;30 to go the hospital it got a little better. I got to have a cigarette. :) Now, I am really wanting to talk to Taylor and he isn't on. Bah. Yup, that was my day yesterday and today. Thank GOD tomorrow is Friday. I don't have to take those gay tests tomorrow. Woop. Leave some, dorks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|06:10 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | No One - Aly & A.J. | ] |
So I talked to Taylor today. He seems sincere about
making a better friendship, then dating. He was being really sweet to
me today, haha. x; He put his hat on me and was like "mm, you're hot."
Yeah, lmao. Ok so I like him and I want to give him another chance..I
am gonna talk to about how I feel about EVERYTHING. He told me he has
just been busy with school. I dunno. He is supposed to call me, so I
dunno. But yeah, I got asked out today by this kid Nate. I told Taylor
and he is like..."Well, what did you say?" And I'm like.. "I said no.."
And he asked me why. I told him I like someone else...alot. And he goes
"Who?" I'm like.."you duh..too bad you don't want to date me." And he
goes "Hey...I just want to be better friends first." I dunno! I hope
things work out. Bah. ;D So I thought I was gonna have the worst day..
It was actually alright. I'm in a good mood. :] Leave comments! :D
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| A heart is the worst kind of weapon. |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|11:55 am] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  rejected | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | My heart is the worst kind of weapon - FOB. | ] |
I go from ecstatically happy to ...trying to stop myself
from burning my cheeks with hot tears. Bah, so the day before yesterday
Taylor tells me he thinks we rushed into things. He says we only knew
eachother for a little and "WHAM" we are dating. So yeah, I guess I'm
single now. Although, he said he wants to become better friends before
we continue dating, so that makes me think maybe we could get back
together. But....Yesterday he didn't even talk to me. Which makes me
contemplate whether or not he is just saying that because he found a
new girl. Someone prettier than me, smarter than me, funner than
me...Just better than me. Which wouldn't be to hard to find, eh? I
don't know anymore. I give so much love, so much pure love. I always
get shit in return, from guys who say they care, that is. Anyway! Im
about to say fuck it...Someone give me a rock to throw at boys. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|03:00 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Green Day - Holiday | ] |
Well, I went to the doctor. He tried to tell me how I
felt. If there is one thing that pisses me off, it's someone trying to
tell me how I feel. "Oh you'll get over it. You're okay." Bah, so yeah
we got in an argument. Needless to say I won and I got a note for
school to "return as needed." So I go back when I feel better. Which
doesn't neccessarily satisfy because I had to be a bitch to the doctor
to get him to excuse me for yesterday and today, and probably tomorrow.
Oh fucking well. I'll rest a lot this weekend, call ParentLink so I
have all my homework done, and be good to go on Monday. Then after that
I am going to try x10 to not miss a day. I'll prove these bitches
wrong. I'll prove to them that me having the flu has NOTHING to do with
what I've been battling all fucking year. I'm gonna get all my homework
done, not miss any classes, be a little fucking teacher's pet. Then
I'll still get a hard time and I'll rub it in the doctor's face that no
matter how hard I try...nothing will change the fact that the teachers
don't understand what I have gone through, never will, and I don't feel
I have to tell them to get sympathy. Fuck them. I really am glad I have
Mrs. Davis though. I just hope she doesn't get like all my other
teachers and think I am "skipping school." I wish she could read this
because I really to appreciate all she has done for me. I don't want it
to seem like I was taking advantage of her for using her class as a
study hall. I'm gonna buy her a thank you card and a candle and a
wooden angel. :) Anyway, I am talking to him and
he is cheering me up. He said this in regards to dumb doctors who think
they know everything about everything, but really only take an educated
book they bought at Barnes & Nobles. Read:
Taylor: want me to kill em?
Felecia: Please.
Taylor: berney's comin over in a few and he and I are
Italian...thus....we are the (area protected, bitches)
mafia...thus, we jump off high things ......and we kill people
Wow, he is such a dork. But I heart him, a lot. Anyway, I am pissed at
Ashley. Yeah Ashley. She is a fucking bitch. She stole my birthday
stars & numbers book. She said.."Ill look in storage and if I still
have it, I'll get it back to you." Yeah right you dumb cunt, someone
told me it was in you and your dumbass boyfriend's room. Man.. I hate
chu. Bye people.
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| Make me chicken noodle soup. |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|11:13 am] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Stupid Girl - Cold | ] |
I knew I was going to get the flu, being my mom had it
last week. It fucking sucks. I have been laying in bed or on the couch
for the past 2 days. I doubt I will be going to school the rest of this
week. That also has me stressed out. I have been trying so hard to get
motivated to go to school and junk, but it's been a rough year. I'd
rather not post publicly what was wrong before, but if it's not that I
am physically sick. I think I have to have another surgery on my ears.
Blah. I don't know anymore. I will probably have to repeat this year. I
hope not. I might just go to summer school to make up classes. I am
passing everything but I've missed way more than the legal limit. Bah.
I dunno!! I am beginning to feel stupid. Anyway, I don't want to talk
about that anymore. Now is a good time to talk about Happy stuff!
I'm talking to Mitchy. I missed that boy.<3 This morning I went
shopping with my mom. I got my bird 2 new toys and new water and seed
cups. One is baby blue the other is light pink. They are cute. I moved
her out of my computer room and into the kitchen. She seems happier
there. Now that I don't have a million cats (althought Baby is
pregnant) I have been taking her out of her cage and playing with her
more. I also bought Raven (my rottie and black lab mix) a new collar
because she got to big for her first one. She has gotten soo big. When
she stands on her two hind legs she is almost as tall as me. Which
brings me to say I got measured Monday and I am now 5'4'' :) I've grown
1 3/4 of an inch so far this year. I bought my little cousin a new
outfit today, too. It's pimp, haha. I got new sockss. Some got monkeys
on them. They are hell'a cute. ;] See look at that, talking about Happy
stuff lifted my spirits a little. But now I'm getting dizzy and I want
to go lay down. Love you's.
But before I go...a little something about Taylor. It's so weird. I
want to say why, but I can't. He really supports me, it is really good
to have that in a relationship. I love who is he is, I love who `we`
are becoming. Hearts.
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| ;x |
[Mar. 28th, 2005|12:18 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Akon - Mr. Lonely | ] |
Yeah, so..A lot of things have been going on. Fele kind of meet someone. His name is Taylor and I swear...I feel like he is my soul mate. We have soo much in common, and just enough differences to give us something to talk about. He asked me out Friday and it was the cutest thing, haha. He called me and I said something mean, in a joking way. And he was like "oh it's on! it's on!" and I said.."Okay then, it's on." And he goes.."Nope you can't say it's on till your my queen and then you can say whatever you want..." And I'm like "So I have to be your girl to say it's on?" and he goes "So yeah..Felecia will you go out with me?" And I told him I'd think about it and tell him Tuesday when I see him.. Then later on in the conversation I was like "Taylor, what if I know my answer now?" And he was like "nope, nope you gotta think about it. Tell me Tuesday." Anyway after that he was like "Felecia, if you know your answer now and you are sure ...What do you say?" And I'm like.."It's on." Okay, so that might be a little corny, lol. But hey what can I say? I like him a lot..Now he just called me. :x So update later! Love you guys. |
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| s |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|10:47 am] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Busted - Loner in Love | ] |
Happy freakin' Easter. I woke up this morning, came down
stairs, and the first thing I heard was "FEESHA THE EASTER BUNNY LAID
EGGS!" My 5 year old cousin..She's so adorable. Anyway, the Easter
Bunny brought me an Easter Basket. :D I got some candy, too bad I don't
like candy all that much. So anyway I hope ya'll have a good Easter.
Peace love and chicken grease. :d |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
Just updating to say what's up; absolutely fucking nothing.
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| Delicious Candy Coated Milk Caramels. |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|03:57 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | I don't know the name of this song but it's good! | ] |
I got sugah baybees! Lol I am in a good mood,
suprisingly. Shit...New news..My brother and I have been hanging out a
lot lately and we've become really close. Ashley broke up with him and
is now dating my brother's best friend, who happens to be my ex that I
kind'a still cared about. But ya know, I don't care because I have
NEVER seen my brother happier than he is with my girl, Corrin. They
made it official Sunday. :)
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| Fd |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|01:13 pm] |
Read this and junk, kthnx.
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone
Growing up in today's world where kids take their own lives with a hand gun
Always feeling as though someone nearby is judging how you dress, act, and look
Who cares about the brainy girl who always has her nose in a book?
Today society makes you feel like you have to look just like a star
And you feel like you have to bury, deep inside, who you really are
You try so hard to fit in, you try so hard to be accepted
And when it gets to be too much you contemplate the unexpected
With your dad's gun in your hand you feel tempted to pull the trigger
And thoughts of how you want it to be only seem to linger
You feel your eyes getting watery and your vision starts to blur
But is anything worth taking your life over; don't be so sure
People may put you down, but remember there may be someone there to help you get back on your feet
There may be someone there who will help you get through this life of pain and awful grief
You put the gun down and replace it with a pen and your journal where you let your thoughts flow
And you realize that there has been something to help you get through everything and help you grow
Your journal has always been there for you; it has kept all your secrets
Your secrets are locked away in there and you think that's how you should keep it
You've realized that you won't stay down forever if you fall
You've realized that nothing is worth your life and you stand tall
As you write you look over and see your dad's hand gun
You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone
Inspired by:
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
--John Ciardi
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| Im backkk. |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|06:12 pm] |
I'm backkkkk. Woot. Did ya miss me? You better have. :]
I'm going to my friends dorm this weekend so I will talk to you all
Monday or w/e. Peace.
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|03:18 pm] |
|
Well lol. I sorta got a citation so my net was taken away. Then...My computer crashed so it's in the shop. I should be back soon, I think. I'm at a friends for superbowl. GO EAGLES! :D Anyways, I miss ya'll and I love ya'll too. :] -kisskisskisshughughug- |
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| Bahh. |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|12:44 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | None. | ] |
Gah, I am at school. I got grounded from my computer at home. Aha.. We get out early today because of the bad weather, woo-hoo. Anyway, I should be back within a week or so. Miss me? Thanks.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|04:52 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | None. | ] |
I got another Christmas present about 11;30 the 25th. I
gottttt.. a puppy. She is so adorable. She is black lab and routwieler
mixed. She's all black. I named her Raven. I was suped. Ever since my
dog got put to sleep I have been crushed.. Even though Raven doesn't
take his place it is nice to have another puppy around. So yeah, I have
been happy the past couple days. There is something else I'd like to
bring up but don't think it is a good idea being I have an auidence so
I'll update later, if I remember. Peacee.
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| Ho ho ho. |
[Dec. 25th, 2004|04:40 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | None. | ] |
You'll never believe this...I'm in a very fucking good mood, lol. Actually this morning I was in a bad mood cause my dad woke everyone up at 6;30!! We came down stairs ..opened presents and all that ish. We got down with that around 8;30 and I went back to bed. I slept till almost one. When I came down my uncles and aunts and cousins had already been here, Thank God. Because they are annoying. Anyway, about 2 we ate. Mmm. Then my Nana came over and I opened my presents from her. My Gramma 'B' is spose to take me shopping. I can't wait. >:] Going to the malll. Anyway, that's all for now because I need a cancer stick. MERRY CHRISTMAS LJ! |
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| Wouldn't it be nice... |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|06:14 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Vitamin R - Chevelle. | ] |
Well...I am bored, that is why I am updating. Nothing is really all that new. Yesterday was good, today is sucky. I actually had a good morning, it was very relaxed. I didn't have any classes.. Then I get home and my brother is being a bitch, which puts me in a bad mood. Ever since then I've been like this. I'm slowly being cheered up by someone who makes me happy. I love him. ;x Anyway, that's all I guess. It's not like I'll get any comments, fuckers. >:O |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2004|09:45 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | Fall Out Boy - Calm Before the Storm. | ] |
I often contemplate this thing called life
As I do a fallen tear rolls down my cheek
It splatters on my pillow, leaving a wet mark
The wet mark eventually fades away to nothing
I often contemplate this thing called life
The shiny blade pressed against my bruised skin
My reflection emits on the blade, I turn away disappointed
The scar from the pain I inflict on myself never completely fades away
I often contemplate this thing called life
I find myself locked in my room, with the music loud
No one hears me scream, I fall in a corner and rock myself back and forth, back and forth
The shades are drawn, blocking light and life from me
The pain in my throat from my not so silent screams eventually fades away
I often contemplate this thing called life
Drowning in my own pool of crimson blood
It drips down my finger tips and splatters on the floor
I press harder, I bleed harder, my skin is stained
The stains eventually fades away
I often contemplate this thing called life
I'm the girl with the broken smile
My hearts been shattered into a million pieces, too many pieces to fix
The pain you feel everday will never fade away
Because you know I did this for you
I contemplated my life for you |
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| Well.... |
[Dec. 16th, 2004|07:43 pm] |
| [ | How the fxck I'm feeling. |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | What the fxck I'm listening to. |
| | None. | ] |
Well, today did suck. But, it is getting better. Odd being it's almost 8 o'clock. I hate that...The whole day goes by so fucking horrible, at night I start feeling better. Probably because I'm by myself (most of the time). My mom and I got into it today..But I'm okay now. I think. I just talked to my mom about my SH teacher giving me detention. I swear, if I get detention it's going to be for a GOOD reason, not because my teacher has permanent PMS. |
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